The Scottish Himalayan Expedition
W.H. Murray
Until one is committed
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
Always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
There is one elementary truth,
The ignorance of which kills countless ideas
And splendid plans: That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
Then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
That would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision
Raising in one's favor all manner
Of unforeseen incidents and meetings
And material assistance,
Which no man could have dreamt
Would have come his way.
I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."
Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Charles Swindoll
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace from that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is play on the one string that we have and this string is, Attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our Attitudes.
Showing posts with label ME. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ME. Show all posts
Monday, March 8, 2010
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Pointers To Live
Just some thoughts to keep your chin up....
Don't let the DOWNERS get to you
Have you not known some people whose primary objective, it may seem, in life is to get you down. I call them downers - people who put you down.
Identify these souls, and then forgive and ignore them.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Don't carry that baggage with you.
No matter what has happened and what will happen, kicking yourself in the butt & carrying all those bricks on your back, seldom helps.
forgive yourself first to love others.
"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy."
Wayne Dyer
Here's a story
Two monks were traveling down a road beside a river. They came upon a woman sitting on the bank with her head in her hands and tears streaming down her face. One monk asked what was troubling her and she responded that her child was on the other side of the river, alone and afraid. She told the monk that she had lost her way and could no longer find a shallow crossing. Immediately, the monk invited her to sit on his shoulders and he carefully forded the river, depositing her on the opposite bank. She thanked him with a big hug and ran off to find her child. The monk returned to the other bank and his fellow monk. They continued on their stroll. As they continued, however, the fellow monk angrily chastised his friend for assisting the woman. "You know it is against the rules of our order to have contact with a woman", he said. "And to have such close physical contact, at that!". The monk simply shrugged his shoulders and continued to walk. Displeased with the lack of response from his fellow monk, the chastising monk repeated his consternation with greater emphasis. Realizing that this upset would likely not end for the fellow monk, the monk looked at him and replied, "I deposited that woman on the opposite bank. Why do you still carry her?"
Live life ........ feel the love around you,
another story
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real
world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
Lastly, ..... the quote I promised,
There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. .. Albert Einstein
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Address by YA Dato' Vincent Ng Kim Khoay
For some of you that have inquired and whom I have spoken, the learned Judge's address is reproduced herein for your easy reading. It will be posted in my blog for a bit. Do be inspired.
Address by YA Dato' Vincent Ng Kim Khoay on marriage of his son, Mr. Michael Ng on 30 November 2007
Y.Bhg. Datin Hamidah Chong, the graceful representative of YAA Dato’ Abdul Hamid Haji Mohamad, President of Court of Appeal and Acting C.J., Puan Ambiga Sreevenasan, Chairman of the Malaysian Bar Council, my brothers and sisters at the Bench, my former brothers and sisters at law for over a score and six years, Tan Sri-Tan Sri, Dato’ Sri-Dato Sri, Dato’-Dato’, Datin-Datin and my very dear friends.
Surely, this auspicious occasion must concern the marriage couple and the societal institution of marriage. About the bridegroom: from the locale of tonight’s function you may have observed that my son Michael is an incorrigible environmentalist. He rejected air-conditioning and has chosen to make this public declaration of his union with his beloved wife in this wonderful romantic setting of green grass, natural fresh air, a hoped for starry skies, ivory coloured upholstery for the table and chairs placed before a cool water backdrop and all conjoined with soft lilting string instruments music. I thought I had guided Michael to focus and plan correctly. Little did I know that he could focus so well, so as to be in accord with the future trend of greening the Earth, and planed the whole works before he left or Australia. Furthermore, his fixed focus did not, even for a moment, veer from the question of a good father’s duty – which he is fully conscious he himself would have to assume about 30 years hence – that is, to pick up the tab for all these relaxed ambience where even the mosquitoes have deserted us.
Now, let me make some observations about Michael’s Adelene, the chosen one. Michael first met Adelene during my first tour of duty as a judge in Penang (for 4 ½ years) when he was in Form 3 at St. Xavier’s Institution. Three months before he was due to sit for his SPM exam, I was transferred (of course not at my request) to Kangar, Perlis. Michael had, though under protest, to follow us yet he kept in constant contact with Adelene. After 2 years 10 months I was transferred to Alor Star, Kedah where I served for 2 more years before I was persuaded by Y. Bhg. Tun Mohamad Dzaiddin to move down to Kuala Lumpur to head the Commercial Division. I must say that it turned out to be a privilege to serve Perlis and Kedah. It is of interest to note that good judges like Y. Bhg. Dato’ K.C. Vohrah, YA Dato’ Hishamuddin, YAA Dato’ Alauddin, YA Dato’ Ariffin Zakaria and even the late Tun Suffian have served in Alor Star.
Alor Star was then an attractive town to be transferred to – perhaps attractive to the transferor rather than the transferees, if I could use the such a term. Of course, if we are short of words we could always say “correct, correct, correct, correct”. All the years that I was in Kangar, Alor Star and Kuala Lumpur, Michael still kept in close contact with Adelene. My wife and I often wondered why their relationship was on such abiding and firm footing. His attention and focus was never, even for a moment, averted to any other girl. I couldn’t appreciate the reason why this was so until we got to really know Adelene, after a few years. Clearly, the reason is that Michael’s girl is so much like his mother, in character and disposition. Of course it is my hope that Adelene has chosen Michael because he so much like his father, but that would be presumptuous of me. Well, as many have said: “Michael is a chip of the old block”. If you know my character, need I say more?
Young single women today faced a serious problem when it comes to finding a prospective husband, due to the following observations. It has been said that “Fifty per cent of all available men are married or spoken for. Another 30 per cent are gay and a further 10 per cent are jerks. This would mean that single women have so little choice as they are running around trying to attract only 10 per cent of men”. You may, through your own observation, assign your own percentages to the above, but the gist of this observation is not wholly baseless. Then, there is also this audacious but humorous comment by a wit as to why ladies today are still single: “Nice men are ugly; handsome men are not nice; handsome and nice men are gay; handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married; men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money; men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money, think women are only after their money; handsome men without money are after women’s money; handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think women are beautiful enough; men that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money and who think women are beautiful, are cowards; men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank god are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!; men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in women when they take the initiative. Now, who the hell understands men?”. So, having carefully observed and tested the character of Michael and Adelene, I am convinced that they are indeed within the lucky 10 per cent in their mutual choice.
Let us consider the institution of marriage, of which much have been said and advised. Cyril Connally says that: “The particular charm of marriage is the duologue, the permanent conversation between two people who talk over everything and everyone. A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short”. Don Fraser and Doug Larson have opined that: “A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it” and “More marriages survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” On the other hand let me now quote the famous centenarian Mr. George Burns who declared: “Lots pf people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It’s simple – we didn’t do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business you get tired; and when you get tired you get grouchy; and when you get grouchy you start fighting; and when you start fighting you’re out of business.” This man lived to 101 years old. I don’t believe him, so I won’t live to a hundred – perhaps only long enough to write my memoirs. But he is a comedian who would think you are crazy if you believe him. Then, there is one Mr. Ogden Nash who wrote that: “To keep your marriage brimming with love in a loving cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you are right shut up”. Well, if you agree with his last advice, don’t marry a good judge, for he will never shut up if he thinks he is right.
To all those who have irretrievably tied the knot my advice is to be fair and gracious to each other and think positively. And, to all those who intend to commit themselves to a marriage partnership, do chose a spouse with the right genes. Here you have a choice, unlike what I have said about how to be a good judge: “it is easy, just have the right genes”. The following excerpts from my address to the Perak Barristers of the Inns of Court, London at a dinner in Syuen Hotel, Ipoh on 16th February 2001 (see (2001)2MLJ pg.xxxvii), could bear recall:
“In this critical periods of judicial history, what, you may wish to ask, are the essential qualities of a judge? In my opinion, when considering a candidate for this high office, which exclusively involves the dispensation of (and not dispensing with) justice, the qualities to look for are in the following order of priority: (i) intellectual honesty with unquestionable probity and integrity; (ii) analytical prowess; (iii) industry and a good command of language; (iv) knowledge of the law; (v) judicial temperament; and (vi) a keen awareness of the prevailing milieu or conditions in the society in which he or she functions. The first two qualities are innate, and the rest may be acquired. In this regard, I wholly support the Bar’s view that in order to ensure objectivity in the evaluation of a potential candidate’s suitability for appointment as Judicial Commissioners, or for confirmation and promotion of judges, he or she should first be vetted by a worthy and credible selection board” (now taken to mean a Judicial Appointments Commission).
We certainly have in our midst good judges who, for the sake of this beloved nation, would inexorably march to their personal calamity in answer to the call of their immutable genes.
It is an incontrovertible truism that every act of integrity, compassion, unflinching courage and sacrifice demonstrated to our children would encourage them to emulate our example. What will matter is how long we will be remembered, by whom and for what, and whether our children will be proud to declare the name of their father. Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity they think of you. A further observation in that, couples who are happily married have learnt to live with their spouse with tolerance, even though their patience might wear thin at times. They have accepted each other’s faults and are willing to compromise. Life brings unpredictable circumstances; happiness, sadness, success, disappointments and failure – all these are part of sharing a life together. You do not need to love your in-laws if they are unlovable, but your relationship with them must always be fair and correct. It is wise to always bear in mind that your spouse and children are watching you - silently.
As there are many good judges here, sitting or retired, who grace this occasion, I must take this opportunity to venture this comment. The judiciary has been criticized by members of the public at most functions, even our friends and secretaries tell us so. But let me say this : our only shield against such lambasting is to administer justice with good conscience as reflected in our written judgments. I must congratulate those judges who have written such good, honest-to-God judgments. It is perhaps appropriate to quote what Julian Huxley has to say about the eternal permanency of the written word: “By speech first, but far more by writing, man has been able to put something of himself beyond death. In tradition and in books an integral part of the individual persists, for it can influence the minds and action of other people in different places and at different times: a row of black marks on a page can move a man to tears, though the bones of him that wrote it are long ago crumbled to dust”. Since this is true, it would thus follow that our children and grand children would have to live with the good or the bad that is reflected in our written judgments. We do not write to please anyone but only the Judge of History and the Judge of Conscience. It is now obvious to the wise and perceptive that we are inhabitants of a globalised world governed by the dictates of an IT driven cyberspace, where there is hardly any shelter for the corrupt. The above quotation by Julian Huxley was crafted in very potent language. So also was the following words of the late Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., a great orator, that will ring in my ears until I draw my last breath: “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.”
Indeed, I believe that our beloved nation would never be one nation until the majority of its citizens abide by Rev. Martin Luther King’s dream. Now, in the context of the institution of marriage, I would add that it is the character of your spouse that will determine the fullness of the content of your happiness. It is good to have a way with words, like Martin Luther and Julian Huxley. It is not so good to have a way with women, because your good wife would not be happy and you may be accused of being a womanizer or a dead wood, hence not promoted; of course, the real reason may perhaps be that you do not have a way with men.
Lots of advice to the married couple from me, but I have a wish. My wish is that, at the end of a long and fruitful day in their lives together, my son could hold the same sentiments of his wife as I do of my beloved – of whom I have this to say, and I say it now before all of you. Providence has indeed endowed me with the perpetual freshness of her extrinsic beauty and more importantly, the beauty of her intrinsic character. She is totally incapable of any rancour or spite to anyone, while generous to a fault with her abiding love for me and the children. Certain kinks in the character of most men are often only tempered by the sensitive tact of a perceptive wife. Talking about irascible men, yet I may be genetically programmed to excel such men on this score at times. Many husbands think that their good wives are skillful only on the mundane irrelevant things in life. Little do they realize that it is precisely the mundane features of life such as the emotional support derived from wifely companionship through fair and foul weather, that is not only relevant in this turbulent world, but would keep their husbands on even keel. Yet if, upon reflections during interludes of quietude, a husband could appreciate this salutary feature of his relationship, his marriage would develop into a blissful tryst with destiny. I am indeed fortunate not to have to look elsewhere for love or solace, being ever so grateful to God for this masterpiece of His creation, that has so fortuitously come my way, to walk with me, hand in hand, in my sole and solitary journey through this Earth.
I must thank my honoured guests who have so graciously taken time off to be present here tonight to grace the occasion. The invitation was perforce, extended to only such a limited number of our friends. This is a truly small party where all of you have clearly reciprocated so graciously to my hand of friendship by being here tonight, mindful that some of my invitees could not be present due to the sacred call of duty to perform the Haj. This is what I would call the strength of significance in small numbers. My sincere thanks to all of you here tonight.
Address by YA Dato' Vincent Ng Kim Khoay on marriage of his son, Mr. Michael Ng on 30 November 2007
Y.Bhg. Datin Hamidah Chong, the graceful representative of YAA Dato’ Abdul Hamid Haji Mohamad, President of Court of Appeal and Acting C.J., Puan Ambiga Sreevenasan, Chairman of the Malaysian Bar Council, my brothers and sisters at the Bench, my former brothers and sisters at law for over a score and six years, Tan Sri-Tan Sri, Dato’ Sri-Dato Sri, Dato’-Dato’, Datin-Datin and my very dear friends.
Surely, this auspicious occasion must concern the marriage couple and the societal institution of marriage. About the bridegroom: from the locale of tonight’s function you may have observed that my son Michael is an incorrigible environmentalist. He rejected air-conditioning and has chosen to make this public declaration of his union with his beloved wife in this wonderful romantic setting of green grass, natural fresh air, a hoped for starry skies, ivory coloured upholstery for the table and chairs placed before a cool water backdrop and all conjoined with soft lilting string instruments music. I thought I had guided Michael to focus and plan correctly. Little did I know that he could focus so well, so as to be in accord with the future trend of greening the Earth, and planed the whole works before he left or Australia. Furthermore, his fixed focus did not, even for a moment, veer from the question of a good father’s duty – which he is fully conscious he himself would have to assume about 30 years hence – that is, to pick up the tab for all these relaxed ambience where even the mosquitoes have deserted us.
Now, let me make some observations about Michael’s Adelene, the chosen one. Michael first met Adelene during my first tour of duty as a judge in Penang (for 4 ½ years) when he was in Form 3 at St. Xavier’s Institution. Three months before he was due to sit for his SPM exam, I was transferred (of course not at my request) to Kangar, Perlis. Michael had, though under protest, to follow us yet he kept in constant contact with Adelene. After 2 years 10 months I was transferred to Alor Star, Kedah where I served for 2 more years before I was persuaded by Y. Bhg. Tun Mohamad Dzaiddin to move down to Kuala Lumpur to head the Commercial Division. I must say that it turned out to be a privilege to serve Perlis and Kedah. It is of interest to note that good judges like Y. Bhg. Dato’ K.C. Vohrah, YA Dato’ Hishamuddin, YAA Dato’ Alauddin, YA Dato’ Ariffin Zakaria and even the late Tun Suffian have served in Alor Star.
Alor Star was then an attractive town to be transferred to – perhaps attractive to the transferor rather than the transferees, if I could use the such a term. Of course, if we are short of words we could always say “correct, correct, correct, correct”. All the years that I was in Kangar, Alor Star and Kuala Lumpur, Michael still kept in close contact with Adelene. My wife and I often wondered why their relationship was on such abiding and firm footing. His attention and focus was never, even for a moment, averted to any other girl. I couldn’t appreciate the reason why this was so until we got to really know Adelene, after a few years. Clearly, the reason is that Michael’s girl is so much like his mother, in character and disposition. Of course it is my hope that Adelene has chosen Michael because he so much like his father, but that would be presumptuous of me. Well, as many have said: “Michael is a chip of the old block”. If you know my character, need I say more?
Young single women today faced a serious problem when it comes to finding a prospective husband, due to the following observations. It has been said that “Fifty per cent of all available men are married or spoken for. Another 30 per cent are gay and a further 10 per cent are jerks. This would mean that single women have so little choice as they are running around trying to attract only 10 per cent of men”. You may, through your own observation, assign your own percentages to the above, but the gist of this observation is not wholly baseless. Then, there is also this audacious but humorous comment by a wit as to why ladies today are still single: “Nice men are ugly; handsome men are not nice; handsome and nice men are gay; handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married; men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money; men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money, think women are only after their money; handsome men without money are after women’s money; handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think women are beautiful enough; men that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money and who think women are beautiful, are cowards; men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank god are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!; men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in women when they take the initiative. Now, who the hell understands men?”. So, having carefully observed and tested the character of Michael and Adelene, I am convinced that they are indeed within the lucky 10 per cent in their mutual choice.
Let us consider the institution of marriage, of which much have been said and advised. Cyril Connally says that: “The particular charm of marriage is the duologue, the permanent conversation between two people who talk over everything and everyone. A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short”. Don Fraser and Doug Larson have opined that: “A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it” and “More marriages survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” On the other hand let me now quote the famous centenarian Mr. George Burns who declared: “Lots pf people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It’s simple – we didn’t do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business you get tired; and when you get tired you get grouchy; and when you get grouchy you start fighting; and when you start fighting you’re out of business.” This man lived to 101 years old. I don’t believe him, so I won’t live to a hundred – perhaps only long enough to write my memoirs. But he is a comedian who would think you are crazy if you believe him. Then, there is one Mr. Ogden Nash who wrote that: “To keep your marriage brimming with love in a loving cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you are right shut up”. Well, if you agree with his last advice, don’t marry a good judge, for he will never shut up if he thinks he is right.
To all those who have irretrievably tied the knot my advice is to be fair and gracious to each other and think positively. And, to all those who intend to commit themselves to a marriage partnership, do chose a spouse with the right genes. Here you have a choice, unlike what I have said about how to be a good judge: “it is easy, just have the right genes”. The following excerpts from my address to the Perak Barristers of the Inns of Court, London at a dinner in Syuen Hotel, Ipoh on 16th February 2001 (see (2001)2MLJ pg.xxxvii), could bear recall:
“In this critical periods of judicial history, what, you may wish to ask, are the essential qualities of a judge? In my opinion, when considering a candidate for this high office, which exclusively involves the dispensation of (and not dispensing with) justice, the qualities to look for are in the following order of priority: (i) intellectual honesty with unquestionable probity and integrity; (ii) analytical prowess; (iii) industry and a good command of language; (iv) knowledge of the law; (v) judicial temperament; and (vi) a keen awareness of the prevailing milieu or conditions in the society in which he or she functions. The first two qualities are innate, and the rest may be acquired. In this regard, I wholly support the Bar’s view that in order to ensure objectivity in the evaluation of a potential candidate’s suitability for appointment as Judicial Commissioners, or for confirmation and promotion of judges, he or she should first be vetted by a worthy and credible selection board” (now taken to mean a Judicial Appointments Commission).
We certainly have in our midst good judges who, for the sake of this beloved nation, would inexorably march to their personal calamity in answer to the call of their immutable genes.
It is an incontrovertible truism that every act of integrity, compassion, unflinching courage and sacrifice demonstrated to our children would encourage them to emulate our example. What will matter is how long we will be remembered, by whom and for what, and whether our children will be proud to declare the name of their father. Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity they think of you. A further observation in that, couples who are happily married have learnt to live with their spouse with tolerance, even though their patience might wear thin at times. They have accepted each other’s faults and are willing to compromise. Life brings unpredictable circumstances; happiness, sadness, success, disappointments and failure – all these are part of sharing a life together. You do not need to love your in-laws if they are unlovable, but your relationship with them must always be fair and correct. It is wise to always bear in mind that your spouse and children are watching you - silently.
As there are many good judges here, sitting or retired, who grace this occasion, I must take this opportunity to venture this comment. The judiciary has been criticized by members of the public at most functions, even our friends and secretaries tell us so. But let me say this : our only shield against such lambasting is to administer justice with good conscience as reflected in our written judgments. I must congratulate those judges who have written such good, honest-to-God judgments. It is perhaps appropriate to quote what Julian Huxley has to say about the eternal permanency of the written word: “By speech first, but far more by writing, man has been able to put something of himself beyond death. In tradition and in books an integral part of the individual persists, for it can influence the minds and action of other people in different places and at different times: a row of black marks on a page can move a man to tears, though the bones of him that wrote it are long ago crumbled to dust”. Since this is true, it would thus follow that our children and grand children would have to live with the good or the bad that is reflected in our written judgments. We do not write to please anyone but only the Judge of History and the Judge of Conscience. It is now obvious to the wise and perceptive that we are inhabitants of a globalised world governed by the dictates of an IT driven cyberspace, where there is hardly any shelter for the corrupt. The above quotation by Julian Huxley was crafted in very potent language. So also was the following words of the late Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., a great orator, that will ring in my ears until I draw my last breath: “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.”
Indeed, I believe that our beloved nation would never be one nation until the majority of its citizens abide by Rev. Martin Luther King’s dream. Now, in the context of the institution of marriage, I would add that it is the character of your spouse that will determine the fullness of the content of your happiness. It is good to have a way with words, like Martin Luther and Julian Huxley. It is not so good to have a way with women, because your good wife would not be happy and you may be accused of being a womanizer or a dead wood, hence not promoted; of course, the real reason may perhaps be that you do not have a way with men.
Lots of advice to the married couple from me, but I have a wish. My wish is that, at the end of a long and fruitful day in their lives together, my son could hold the same sentiments of his wife as I do of my beloved – of whom I have this to say, and I say it now before all of you. Providence has indeed endowed me with the perpetual freshness of her extrinsic beauty and more importantly, the beauty of her intrinsic character. She is totally incapable of any rancour or spite to anyone, while generous to a fault with her abiding love for me and the children. Certain kinks in the character of most men are often only tempered by the sensitive tact of a perceptive wife. Talking about irascible men, yet I may be genetically programmed to excel such men on this score at times. Many husbands think that their good wives are skillful only on the mundane irrelevant things in life. Little do they realize that it is precisely the mundane features of life such as the emotional support derived from wifely companionship through fair and foul weather, that is not only relevant in this turbulent world, but would keep their husbands on even keel. Yet if, upon reflections during interludes of quietude, a husband could appreciate this salutary feature of his relationship, his marriage would develop into a blissful tryst with destiny. I am indeed fortunate not to have to look elsewhere for love or solace, being ever so grateful to God for this masterpiece of His creation, that has so fortuitously come my way, to walk with me, hand in hand, in my sole and solitary journey through this Earth.
I must thank my honoured guests who have so graciously taken time off to be present here tonight to grace the occasion. The invitation was perforce, extended to only such a limited number of our friends. This is a truly small party where all of you have clearly reciprocated so graciously to my hand of friendship by being here tonight, mindful that some of my invitees could not be present due to the sacred call of duty to perform the Haj. This is what I would call the strength of significance in small numbers. My sincere thanks to all of you here tonight.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
You are Special
"There has never been another you.
With no effort on your part you were born to be something very special and set apart.
What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make."
Dan Zadra
With no effort on your part you were born to be something very special and set apart.
What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make."
Dan Zadra
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Pulau Besar ("Big Island"), Melaka
Off the Coast of the Historical City of Melaka, there is an island known as Pulau Besar which is of immense historical significance.
At Lot 840 there is a holy tomb of Shaikh Ismail ibn ‘Abd al-Qadir ibn ‘Abd al-Jabbar ibn Salih ibn ‘Abd al-Qadir al-Jilani, qaddasallahu sirrah (r.a.), also known as Sultan Al-Arifin Syeikh Ismail (the “Holy Tomb”). Sultan Arifin was accorded the title of “Wali”/Saint.
Pulau Besar also surfaces in Ming Dynasty record as “Wu-Shu” and used as landmarks in the emperor’s voyages.
It is estimated that this Holy Tomb is over 700 years old. Together with this Holy Tomb is the tomb of Sharifah Rodziah and his teacher, Sheikh Yusuf as-Siddiq. Sultan Arifin who is said to be the 4th generation descendant of the infamous Sufi grandmaster Sheikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani, the guide the Muslim population of Samudera, the Peninsular and the Malay Archipelago. It is said that many embraced Islam through the grandmasters’ guidance.
Nevertheless, the Holy Tomb is visited by countless numbers of visitors sans race, religion and cultural background;
Visitors to the Holy Tomb include visitors from all other countries including Singapore, Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, etc. There is also an influx of Muslim visitors to the Holy Tomb. During the Muslim celebrations of Maulud Rasul, visitors to the Holy Tomb exceed tens of thousands. This is during the months of Rabiul Awal and Rabiul Akhir (twice) where many visitors attend the Holy Tomb;
The Holy Tomb has been managed over the 700 years or so by its caretakers who have handed down these responsibilities from one generation to another.
Nearing the Holy Tomb is another historical site – the Makam Tujuh Adik-Beradik, tomb/shrine of the seven princesses. The seven princesses from India who while on a visited to Pulau Besar were struck down by illness and died. They were buried on the island and their graves marked with the shrine.
In 1991, the various significant structures at Lot 840 and PT No.10 including the Holy Tomb were demolished by the Defendants/Jabatan Agama Islam Melaka and/or their agents. Further the said Makam Tujuh Adik-Beradik was “transferred” to Lot 840.
Coincidentally, a few days later the largest dam in the state called Empangan Durian Runtuh suddenly “dried-up”. Where did the water go? The state of Malacca underwent difficult times for almost a year.
Further, there are regulated rules of conduct to be observed on the Island. Alcohol nor pork ought NOT to be brought onto the Island. Many boats are said to have capsized as a consequence. Dressing codes and rude and immoral conduct of her visitors have also been equally “punished”. …. Truth or fiction?
The Holy Tomb and the other structures were restored and reconstructed in 1999.
It is said that vows & boons are prayed for and received here making Pulau Besar somewhat special to its visitors. Whatsoever their wish, it is undisputed that its cultural and historical heritage of primary significant.
At Lot 840 there is a holy tomb of Shaikh Ismail ibn ‘Abd al-Qadir ibn ‘Abd al-Jabbar ibn Salih ibn ‘Abd al-Qadir al-Jilani, qaddasallahu sirrah (r.a.), also known as Sultan Al-Arifin Syeikh Ismail (the “Holy Tomb”). Sultan Arifin was accorded the title of “Wali”/Saint.
Pulau Besar also surfaces in Ming Dynasty record as “Wu-Shu” and used as landmarks in the emperor’s voyages.
It is estimated that this Holy Tomb is over 700 years old. Together with this Holy Tomb is the tomb of Sharifah Rodziah and his teacher, Sheikh Yusuf as-Siddiq. Sultan Arifin who is said to be the 4th generation descendant of the infamous Sufi grandmaster Sheikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani, the guide the Muslim population of Samudera, the Peninsular and the Malay Archipelago. It is said that many embraced Islam through the grandmasters’ guidance.
Nevertheless, the Holy Tomb is visited by countless numbers of visitors sans race, religion and cultural background;
Visitors to the Holy Tomb include visitors from all other countries including Singapore, Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, etc. There is also an influx of Muslim visitors to the Holy Tomb. During the Muslim celebrations of Maulud Rasul, visitors to the Holy Tomb exceed tens of thousands. This is during the months of Rabiul Awal and Rabiul Akhir (twice) where many visitors attend the Holy Tomb;
The Holy Tomb has been managed over the 700 years or so by its caretakers who have handed down these responsibilities from one generation to another.
Nearing the Holy Tomb is another historical site – the Makam Tujuh Adik-Beradik, tomb/shrine of the seven princesses. The seven princesses from India who while on a visited to Pulau Besar were struck down by illness and died. They were buried on the island and their graves marked with the shrine.
In 1991, the various significant structures at Lot 840 and PT No.10 including the Holy Tomb were demolished by the Defendants/Jabatan Agama Islam Melaka and/or their agents. Further the said Makam Tujuh Adik-Beradik was “transferred” to Lot 840.
Coincidentally, a few days later the largest dam in the state called Empangan Durian Runtuh suddenly “dried-up”. Where did the water go? The state of Malacca underwent difficult times for almost a year.
Further, there are regulated rules of conduct to be observed on the Island. Alcohol nor pork ought NOT to be brought onto the Island. Many boats are said to have capsized as a consequence. Dressing codes and rude and immoral conduct of her visitors have also been equally “punished”. …. Truth or fiction?
The Holy Tomb and the other structures were restored and reconstructed in 1999.
It is said that vows & boons are prayed for and received here making Pulau Besar somewhat special to its visitors. Whatsoever their wish, it is undisputed that its cultural and historical heritage of primary significant.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Blame
"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy."
Wayne Dyer
The MV KUMAR Work Day
productivity and time management mantras
There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. .. Albert Einstein
Before Work Begin, Before You Leave & Anytime Necessary
Motivate/De-Stress/Visualize
Do not commence work in haste,
think about your short & long-term goals ...
steps needed
Mentally, take a step back and visualize yourself floating above your work place and looking down – you will definitely feel more relaxed, and you will probably see things in a different perspective.
Breathing .... very very important
"The practice of mindful breathing can lead to the release of all suffering." ... Margo Adair
Place hand on stomach. Make (Notice) your hand and stomach rise and fall when you breathe. Properly done, your chest will remain while your stomach will rise, when inhaling and vide versa. DO this on the counts of five.
Taking mental breaks like this might guide you towards a different direction in solving long-standing problems. Use this time to remotivate yourself, because unless you are motivated, you cannot motivate others. Also, making your work a pleasure will greatly diminish your stress.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them. .. Albert Einstein
make a “to-do” list of things
If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. … Lewis Carroll
a) today’s
Set Priorities - High priority projects should also be done first - and then look into the lower priority jobs. If there are too many jobs for you to handle, delegate to jointly handle them
Breathing .... very very important
"The practice of mindful breathing can lead to the release of all suffering." ... Margo Adair
Place hand on stomach. Make (Notice) your hand and stomach rise and fall when you breathe. Properly done, your chest will remain while your stomach will rise, when inhaling and vide versa. DO this on the counts of five.
Taking mental breaks like this might guide you towards a different direction in solving long-standing problems. Use this time to remotivate yourself, because unless you are motivated, you cannot motivate others. Also, making your work a pleasure will greatly diminish your stress.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them. .. Albert Einstein
make a “to-do” list of things
If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. … Lewis Carroll
a) today’s
Set Priorities - High priority projects should also be done first - and then look into the lower priority jobs. If there are too many jobs for you to handle, delegate to jointly handle them
b) & Tomorrow‘s Draft list
Set Daily Goal
a) Estimating time accurately
b) Scheduling simple projects
c) Time planning for small and medium sized projects
d) Aides Memoire
An Aide Memoire (Memory aid) is a structured list of points that should be considered when solving a particular/specific problem –
considered all relevant factors, eg –
What CAN be done – no problemo,
What are usual problems/mistakes/”let downs”,
How to rise above the challenges, end results etc.
Often this makes the difference between carrying out a task effectively and making a mess of it, particularly when you are under pressure
Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions –
(1) Why am I doing it,
(2) What the results might be; and
(3) Will I be successful.
Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead… Chanakya
Focus on the Job At Hand
Instead of taking on too many tasks at one time and not completing most of them, concentrate on one job at a time and finish it off as quickly as possible. This will give you greater satisfaction on completion of those jobs.
This will reduce the risk of having to face the challenges in the items 5, 2 & 3 herein
Resolve Not To Procrastinate
Procrastination is the bane of the small business owner because every task has to get done sooner or later. If possible, get large tasks over with early in the morning, when you are still fresh and energetic.
Why do we Procrastinate?
You procrastinate when you put off things. Usually in favor of doing something that is more enjoyable or comfortable. Investing time in wrong tasks. Not understanding the difference between an urgent tasks and important tasks but jumping straight into it - reacting fast. Not thinking - driven by demands which are loudest.
Feeling overwhelmed by the task or Perfectionism ("I don't have the right skills or resources to do this perfectly now, so I won't do it at all."). A fear of failure or success. Waiting for the “right” mood or the “right” time to tackle the important task at hand.
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